Day Thirty-Two

I decided it was high time I added another family to the neighbourhood. Meet the Hunters:


From left to right:

Kathryn, Daisy, Kate, Vicki, and Anna. My apologies to their real-life counterparts for turning them into soulless mannequins, but... well. I could.


There we go. Hunter Court is on the lower left. Believe me, the exterior is the most interesting thing about this house, I only supplied them with the most basic essentials.

We won't be meeting any of the Hunters in this update - perhaps tomorrow we'll be able to meet some of them in the flesh?

Creating a new house has put me in the mood for expanding Rainbow Cottage again.

And this time, I'm not fucking around.



I present to you: the master bedroom. Opulent in every way. A two-storey door, a four-poster bed, and the most exquisite art sim money can buy.

Today we'll be fulfilling Jack's wants. They are:

Buy a GameBoy; Woohoo (having sex, if you've been paying attention); ask a sim on a date; and talk to Pyke.

OK... I don't want to buy another GameBoy, Catriona's got that covered. And the rest are Pyke-related... I'm not going to do this am I?


... Am I? There's a certain inevitability about it that I can't deny but... are our stomachs strong enough?!


Pyke's doing a runner! Her energy bar's at the very bottom. Look's like Jack's wants are going to have to wait unless he wants to ask the Social Bunny on a date. Or... brr, I can't even finish that sentence.


If you ask me, I think it's not just Pyke that got a reprieve there.


'You're not real, right?'







'THE GATE IS OPEN. HE WHO WAITS IN THE DARKNESS IS COMING.'






'Huh?'







'ZALGO.'








'Toffee, I'm really scared of the soul-eating bunny rabbit.'








'I... I don't know what to do! You'll protect me though, right? RIGHT?!'







'ZALGO.'








'ZAAALGOOO.'








Catriona, meanwhile, has decided to have a bit of kip in the master bedroom. They really like this new bed! Where'd Pyke go, though?


Ah, naturally. I wonder just how many images of Pyke drinking here are on this hard drive? Maybe that's why it runs so slowly.


Jack decides to prepare himself a meal to settle those frazzled nerves. I can see peppers, tomatoes, onions... and a bandage? Or something? I spent a good three or four minutes staring at the white thing on the tray to figure out what it was. Still mystified.


Not that it matters anymore! Jack looks so folorn, but I still can't fulfill any of his wants - there's no food left in the house and Pyke's near starvation. I need to order some groceries. If I distract her with anything she will die. For some reason drinking cocktails ups the hunger meter.

Is Pyke living on slices of lime?


CATRIONA OUT OF NOWHERE!

'Jesus! You scared me there!'







'Are you alright, Jack,? You look kinda shaken up.'







'There are monsters out there! And they want to rape my soul!'







'No one wants to rape your soul, Jack. There's no such thing as monsters.'







'You promise?'







'I promise. It's all in your head.'








'Thanks. I'm going to... take a walk. Clear my head.'







'You do that. Just remember one thing before you go.'







'What?'








'ZALGO.'








'I'm scared again!'








'He haunts me in my dreams... so this is what madness is like...'







I forgot to take a screenshot of it, but around this point I ordered Catriona to throw a house party. Let's see who's showing up this time.


Scott and Harriet... how delightfully predictable.

'I hope that lot aren't causing any trouble. I've got more important things to be doing. Is it just you and me going?'






'Nooreen's going to be there! I can smell her already! This time I'll MAKE HER LOVE ME.'






'Sometimes I think I should just LET this planet burn.'








'Hey, Noo-na. Wow, you're one sexy grandma!'







'Scott, I'm fairly sure I said that if you ever go near me again I would tear out your intestines, tie them to an aeroplane, and then laugh as you were dragged along behind it screaming in an almost unheard of state of agony.'





'I like it when you say my name.'








'Wowee! I've always said the saggier the better! You could turn those into an executive toy!'






'If you don't fuck off, RIGHT NOW-'







'Nooreen! NOOREEN!'








'Catriona's been possessed by a demonic rabbit from another dimension!'







'...'








'Sounds a bit...'








'... kooky.'








Quite possibly the saddest image in the whole Crombie Saga.


'I'd put my rocketship in your hangar if you know what I mean-'







'I'd kill you right now if I didn't know I'd be stopped short by some ridiculous narrative contrivance-'







'You're not wearing a necklace!'








'Urgh, Jack, what's that STENCH? It smells like... brimstone.'







*gulp*







'Incidentally, Nooreen's not a factory.'







'...'







'But she's still SMOKIN'!'







'I'm going to use the lavatory. DO NOT FOLLOW ME.'








'WHAT DID I JUST FUCKING SAY?!'







'You were hinting that I should follow you, baby. I'm a master of subtlety.'







'Grr...'








'... And then I smashed his head against the wall a few times and his nose went this amazing purple colour! He should be unconscious for a few hours so do me a favour and don't enter the bathroom for a while. I'll clean the blood up later.'






'Anyway, what's all this about Catriona being possessed? You've not been accepting acid tabs from strangers have you?'






'No! It's real! Her eyes were all like, woah, and she said stuff like, raaar, and then I wet myself.'






'Catriona's sleeping in bed. I think you just had a nightmare, OK? Could you answer the phone? I think I can feel a migraine coming on.'






'O-OK.'








'Y-you! You're the one making me crazy! You're the one making me see demons! I HATE YOU!'






'I'll, ah, take that as a no then. Let me know if she does become available, heh heh... your world's destruction would be a little easier if I could get my hands on one of her limbs.'





'Someone has already taken her! THERE'S NOTHING LEFT BUT THE HUSK!'







'O... K... well, I've got other limbs to collect, so I'll be seeing you LATER, little man.'







'I hope you're alright, Nooreen! That must have been quite a fall because you sorta grabbed my head and sent me straight into the wall!'






'I wish I were dead.'








'And then we're gonna get MARRIED, Pyke! I've already booked the honeymoon!'






'Dude, you're already married. I don't think your wife would appreciate you going off with another woman.'






'Wives! Marriage! Hah! You can't let things like that get in the way of TRUE LOVE, Pyke!'







'I like safes.'







This is my chance to fulfill Jack's wants! But he's getting sleepy so I'd better act fast. Talk to Pyke, Jack! Talk to her! I think you two should 'share your interests'.


'So, you like cocktails, huh?! I never knew that about you.'







'I live off 'em, man. Sometimes.'








And the party's over... Harriet and Scott immediately make their exit, as if following some siren song only sims can hear.


'I have a strong, almost devotional interest in spatulas.'








Pyke reckons this might be useful for cooking.




'WOOF.'







That's enough talking! Jack wants to dance now!


Well done! OK! Jack wants to appreciate Nooreen now! Give her a back rub, Jack!


Jack, she's behind you.


Jack, that's... that's horrific.


I asked for a back rub, not some freaky contortionism.


She seems to be enjoying it anyway. This is one of the creepiest things I've ever seen while playing this damn game.


'What the fuck was all that about?'







'I... I don't know. Brr... I can feel some sort of icy grip clasping my heart... as if all that was happy in the world was being immersed in a lake of black fire.'







At least Jack's happy.

'Something feels very wrong, Catriona... very wrong indeed!'








'ZAAALGO.'







That's gotta hoit.


'She's gone now, Nooreen, just breathe deep and relax... in through the nose and out through the mouth...'







Jack's fallen asleep while on the toilet. Get up, you useless sack of poo.


'How could you do this to me?'








'I'm going to bed now, Catriona, you... OK now?'







'Never better. Why?'







'I, uh- nothing. Forget it.'








Jack prepares for a long, long night.


I just bought that carpet!


Hoo boy.


The Bears of Judgement will be watching these proceedings VERY closely.


'Catriona... I'm here to help you.'







'Eh? What with?'







'That dark spirit within you... I'm going to help you defeat it. It feeds on the negative components of the psyche... your rage, your malice, it thrives on that power.'





'Um.'







'Trust me, I'm a doctor. I can drive it out forever. All it takes is a gesture of affection and love! It cannot bear to be in such a host. Come here.'







CUDDLEZ!


'ZAAAAAAALGOOOOOO- WOAH!'







'You are free.'







'Thanks, Noo-na! I... I feel wonderful! Except...'







'What?'







'I kinda... voided my bowels when you exorcised me. Sorry.'








'FUCK. EVERYTHING.'